Dear Abby: Widowed for 4 months, and ready to date

Dear Abby My husband passed away four months ago I miss him terribly but I m ready to move on I want to begin dating but I don t know how to go about it Selected may say it s too soon but I couldn t care less what people think I have my eye on several men I think may be interested but they re not paying much attention to me I think they re hesitating because they know how in the past few days my husband died and they think it s too soon How can I let them know I m ready without coming on too strong Also how can I go about meeting new men I go places and see lots of men who are attractive but I haven t got the nerve to approach them Specific of them may be married and I don t want to wreck anyone s marriage I m so it isn t easy to meet someone in my age group I am not looking for a husband just a friend and companion I have everything I need except someone to love and care for me Online dating isn t an option for me Can you please give me specific of your excellent advice Very Lonely Widow Dear Very Lonely Please accept my condolences for the loss of your husband You have now become a member of a club that nobody wants to join It s vital for your mental fitness that you do a few things to help you fight depression Staying busy and exercising at least minutes a day are both very effective You may also be able to push the dark clouds away and meet new people by volunteering for causes you care about You mentioned that online dating isn t an option If the reason for that is a lack of computer literacy start taking selected lessons Online dating sites provide an avenue for widows and widowers to meet eligible people of both sexes One caveat however You wrote that you are looking for someone to love and care for YOU Do not go into ANY relationship without accepting that it will be a two-way street or it won t work for either of you Dear Abby My grandpa has expressed to me that he wants me to inherit all of his investments including his k and his personal accounts I am the only family member taking care of him His wife passed away two months ago He has expressed his wishes to me verbally I have recorded him stating this He does not want my sister or his other family members to inherit anything Should I honor his wishes and accept it all My sister who calls him occasionally thinks she should get half of his estate when he passes It could be five or years from now Should I honor his wishes or split it - to keep the peace Eye to the Future in Texas Dear Eye I am very glad you wrote Although you have your grandfather on tape expressing his wishes about the distribution of his estate it is CRUCIAL they be discussed with an attorney who specializes in estate planning Those wishes should be put IN WRITING and notarized so there will be no confusion about his intentions or his reason for apportioning his estate the way he is doing Your sister will be furious when she gets the news and you may need legal protection so be prepared Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA